Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.
Today, I have for you the musings of a 23 year old newlywed on the power of suggestion.
(By the way, this has absolutely nothing to do with the protesters and riots breaking out all over the U.S. I just happened to have a relevant thought about something similar).
I was inspired to write this because the other day Eric asked me what I wanted for dinner (as he usually does).
Being indecisive, like we are about most decisions, we volleyed the question back and forth until I finally said “why don’t we just make burgers?”
He said “that’s fine with me” and went to cook them without question (not like a slave or something, more like he was glad one of us made up our minds because he was hungry).
Now I don’t know if your husband/boyfriend/girlfriend/etc. is as indecisive as my husband, but I’m sure you know someone who wants you to make all of their life choices for them.
This all got me thinking, as most things usually do. I have a lot of power over my husband. It’s not a “I say ‘jump’ and he says ‘how high'” kind of power, it’s a power to make or break his day. One little thing I say can ruin his day forever or make it for a week.
That’s a lot of responsibility that I’ve never been prepared to handle. I’m not one for manipulation. Whining, sure, but never to purposefully get my husband to do something for me (and also because we all whine, don’t even lie).
Now don’t get me wrong, he’s got the same level of influence on me as well. I check with him when I wear an outfit that might be too revealing, sometimes I ask him how my hair looks, and if he responds negatively to anything, I tend to think of it negatively myself.
Isn’t that the whole point of being in a relationship though? To have someone to bounce ideas off of that will love you no matter the consequence? It just astounds me that we each have this level of control over not only how the other acts, but also thinks!
I don’t think people in relationships actively think about how much power they truly have and are too quick to abuse it. Especially women who claim to be “independent” but want people to be at their beck and call 24/7.
You need to make sure you understand what you want your role to be in a relationship before you take one seriously.