Every personality test I’ve ever taken has given me the same result, and it must be true with the sheer number I’ve taken. I’m exactly in the center of the scale between introversion and extroversion. It’s common knowledge at this point that the difference between the two is how an individual “recharges their batteries.” I always believed I was as introverted as you can get until I took those tests. They opened a door that I had previously though didn’t exist.

I never really cared about it until I got married. Eric is an extrovert with just a hint of introvert in there. I didn’t realize that until month 2 of our marriage. He’s charming at social gatherings, laughs without restraint at jokes while were out and about, and he’s almost always bored and feels the need to do something.

It puts this weird strain on our relationship, I’ve noticed. He wants to go to people’s houses for dinner, he doesn’t mind when company arrives at our home, and he’s not bothered by interacting with people at parties. I on the other hand am easily exhausted when having to deal with people.

Just this past weekend we went to a party with his firehouse buddies and their families. Had it not been for some Southern Comfort I would have been completely overwhelmed in a manner of minutes. I didn’t know the vast majority of those in attendance and I clutched my purse to my chest for comfort for the first few hours. Eric was continually getting up and talking to people, he wasn’t afraid to ask for food before it was served, he seemingly felt 100% comfortable. I was silent for most of the night and no one paid attention to me, though that didn’t stop me from thinking that they would at a moment’s notice.

Why am I telling you all of this? Well, this morning I woke up with the strangest feeling. I actually wanted to leave my house and hang out with my friends. I’ve recently clung on to a friend of mine’s D&D campaign and I go to her house to play every Wednesday.  Often times I don’t want to go because it involves leaving the house and interacting with other humans, but today was different. I felt that glimmer of myself come back again that wanted to go to sleepovers in the middle of the week in high school or make spontaneous plans to mountain climb at college. Like I said, I’ve always thought I was an introvert, but I love making plans spur of the moment if I’m surrounded by people I love. And for sure, I’ll have conversations for hours on end if I don’t have to worry about making an excuse to leave just because I’m anxious. I make myself go every Wednesday that I’m able because I know once I get there, I have an awesome time, I know it’s important for me to have someone to physically talk to, and I know I need to get out of the house once in a while with someone other than my husband. But today I felt that piece of me come back to life that isn’t scared and doesn’t want to waste away in front of a computer for the rest of her life.

Recently I’ve become even more introverted due to the fact that I have no reason to leave the camper during the day. I sit here all day long and truly enjoy being alone. However, I think my problem is the people I’m around. Here’s a prime example: Just the other day I received a phone call from my D&D buddies and they asked if I wanted to go out for coffee. I agreed and wound up spending the rest of the day with them totally out of the blue. But, just this past weekend, some of Eric’s family showed up at the campsite unannounced and it seemed to hit me like a bag of bricks. I felt light headed and I didn’t want to get out of bed. Thankfully I was dealing with some back pain previous to their arrival and was already bedridden, so I had an excuse. Eric poked his head inside to tell me they were here, then stared at me for a second. I replied “Do I have to come out there?” He thankfully said no, and told them I wasn’t feeling well. The only difference between these two instances are the people involved. Since leaving all of my friends at college, It’s been difficult for me to branch out. It feels like Eric has dibs on his friends already and I don’t have a means to hang out with my family or friends whenever I want because of the car situation.

It all just makes me think. Your body changes every seven years. You become a totally new person in the physical sense. Am I becoming a new, sadder version of myself? Or is this how life is going to work from now on?


6 Comments Add yours

  1. Purps says:

    It gets better, I promise! Logan was super worried about me the first year of our marriage because I was too timid to go out on my own and hung out in the apartment by myself for weeks on end. I’m glad you have friends near by who can draw you out. That’s a huge help when you don’t want to leave the house.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s good to hear 🙂 nice to know my fellow home bodies are making progress.


  2. I probably know first hand life as an introvert. I’m an introvert myself for most of the time. Like yourself, I don’t have much friends and I like being alone for most of the time. When I am at informal social gatherings, sometimes I can be outgoing and appear as an extrovert.

    When I am at wedding receptions, I don’t really enjoy it so much at all really.

    Although, the downside to not having much friends is that I don’t really have anyone to go on holidays with. For instance, I want to go to India later this year. I have reached out on Facebook but no one has responded. I also looked at sites for people who want to travel but I’ve had no luck in finding a travel buddy so it will be a shame if I don’t get to go at all.

    But you should be proud of your Prince Charming tho, having the will to chat to people on a regular basis can only be a good thing 🙂



    1. Yeah it’s definitely a sticky situation when it comes to friends. I went to school on the other side of the state and graduated recently so now I only have one or two friends in the area. I hope you can find yourself a travel buddy!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. SocialWorry says:

    Im with you! We recently moved to a new city (okay like 8 months ago…) and I have not made one single friend to hang out with here. I have my “friends” at work who I get along great with, but we’re not inviting each other to do anything after work. Funny thing is I could completely care less 😂 I don’t want to do anything! I’m totally fine with watching Netflix and enjoy my trips to the grocery store as an “outing.” I think Internet presence and text messages with my friends back home make me feel less like I’m as “alone” as I am. My fiancé on the other hand wants to go on adventures, so I participate for his sake when he requests I do so.


    1. It’s nice to see someone else feels the same way 🙂


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s